Lol... I read it. Very enlightening (not really).
Yay! Turtles! :D

Mags

By  Anonymous, at 3:48 pm  

Stolen of another blog:

Can I bum a cigarette?
Let us all take a moment and pay homage to my friend and yours: the cigarette. When I have a day like I just went through, I can't stop thinking about how much I loved cigarettes, and how it really wouldn't be that bad if I started smoking them again. Especially when I'm driving.

For former smokers, cigarettes are like the lover you tossed out when you finally realized that he was an abusive, cheating shithead: if you go back just this once, they think that they are part of your life again - they don't stop calling, they can't take a hint, and even though the smoking was hot and just like you remember it, they leave you feeling like vomiting the next morning.

How I long for the days when I was cool, when I hung out on the street corner with my sleeves rolled up and a butt hanging out of my mouth, when my words were neatly punctuated with the crisp crackle of taking a drag right in the middle of a sentence - this can be very effective if timed correctly during a serious bout of talking. Oh for the slight head spin and random leg numbing of taking that first drag of the day - pure pure pleasure. And by the way I still haven't figured out what you are supposed to do with yourself at a bar if you don't smoke. Any ideas? I want to meet random people by asking them for a lighter, really, without a cigarette this often fails. I want to bond with my co-workers and waste time by sharing umbrellas and smoking in shifts.

I'm getting excited just writing about this. I want that long cylindrical stick in my mouth and I want to suck on it, ever so slightly, just enough to make the tip glow. I want it to take my breath away with it's presence, I want to flick that filter, hear my fingernail POP a bit on the end. I want to breathe in that tasty essence, visualize it filling me up on the inside, swirling, dancing in my belly. I want to roll those babies around in my fingers and smell that warmth, feel how tight it's packed, listen to the paper on my skin, yearning for my lips to wrap around this beauty, ready ready ready to go. Smooth, fire-y, crackle, mmmmm, ahhh. OH!

I still have not figured out how to deal correctly with the following: feeling nervous, needing a break, feeling sad, feeling lonely, feeling bored, being at a bar, being at a party, being around people when I'm drunk, feeling like punching your boss, being at the end of my rope, driving alone - either really happily or really desperately, or what the hell is supposed to satisfy me after eating a meal? Pie sure isn't the answer.

For those of you that have never smoked, surely you must have a habit that you can equate to the ecstasy of a cigarette: jogging? eating tofu? tai bo? being Amish?

For those of you that currently smoke, I'm sorry. Pretend you never saw this post. Smoking is bad, cigarettes are bad, and you are bad for liking them.

Stupidly, I thought this would help my craving go away. Now I just want a cigarette ten times more. I'm going to 7-11 right now and by the time you read this it will be too late to stop me. Now, if only I had more than $5.00. Maybe next time I get paid........

By  Anonymous, at 1:25 am